In textbooks, wars tend to look alike: causes, course, consequences. But some are genuine record-holders — for length, for the absurdity of the cause, or for a body count that sometimes was zero.
The shortest war: 38 minutes
The Anglo-Zanzibar War of 1896 is usually called the shortest war in history. On 25 August the Sultan of Zanzibar died, and Khalid bin Barghash took the throne without asking the British consul. Britain told him to step down by 9 a.m. on 27 August.
He didn't. At 9:02 British warships opened fire on the palace, and by about 9:40 its flag had come down. Depending on how you count, the war lasted between 38 and 45 minutes. Zanzibar lost around 500 killed and wounded; the British had one sailor wounded. Afterwards, the story goes, Zanzibar was even billed for the shells used in the bombardment.
The world in 1896: the same year saw the first modern Olympic Games and the Lumière brothers touring their first films.
Other very short wars
- Six-Day War of 1967 lasted six days, 5–10 June, in which Israel took Sinai, the Golan Heights, the West Bank and Gaza.
- The "Football War" between El Salvador and Honduras in 1969 lasted about 100 hours. It was sparked by fan violence at World Cup qualifiers, although the real causes — land and migration — ran much deeper.
- Winter War of 1939–1940 lasted 105 days: the Soviet plan expected a couple of weeks.
The longest war: almost eight centuries
If a long war can include pauses, the record belongs to the Reconquista. The Christian kingdoms of Iberia fought Muslim states for almost eight centuries: from Battle of Covadonga (around 722) to Fall of Granada in 1492. That is 770 years — longer than the time from Marco Polo setting off for China to today.
The fall of Granada and Columbus's voyage happened in the same year: Granada surrendered in January 1492, and Columbus sailed from Spain in August.
Other long wars
- The Roman–Persian Wars — almost 700 years, from Crassus's defeat at Battle of Carrhae in 53 BC until 628. Both empires changed dynasties, languages and religions and kept fighting.
- Hundred Years' War actually lasted 116 years, from 1337 to 1453. Both England and France went through five kings.
- The Punic Wars — 118 years between Rome and Carthage, from The First Punic War to Third Punic War, which ended with Carthage destroyed in 146 BC.
- Thirty Years' War — 1618–1648, the most destructive war in Europe before the 20th century.
- Peloponnesian War — 27 years of Athens against Sparta.
- Cold War — about 45 years without a direct war between the main rivals.
The 335-year war without a single shot
Legend has it that in 1651 the Netherlands declared war on the Isles of Scilly off the English coast and then forgot to make peace. In 1986 a local historian wrote to the Dutch embassy, and the ambassador solemnly signed a "peace treaty". Dutch historians never found the declaration in the archives. Still, 335 years of "war" cost not a single life.
The weirdest wars
The Emu War
The Emu War: in Australia, soldiers with machine guns took on flightless birds, and lost. The commander of the Emu War admired the enemy. And it was the farmers who asked for it: The Emu War was the idea of World War I veterans.
The Pig War
The only casualty of the Pig War between the US and Britain was a pig. The border dispute that began with a farmer’s shot in 1859 dragged on for 13 years and was settled by an arbitrator: the German Kaiser. The border dispute over San Juan Island between the US and Britain dragged on from 1859 to 1872, and was finally settled by the German Kaiser as arbitrator.
The War of the Bucket
War of the Bucket: in 1325 Modena defeated Bologna, and the main trophy was a wooden bucket. The wooden bucket that Modena and Bologna supposedly went to war over has been kept in Modena for some 700 years.
The War of Jenkins' Ear
Britain and Spain fought for nine years over a severed ear. Spaniards cut off Captain Jenkins's ear in 1731; after he told Parliament about it, war broke out in 1739. The captain is said to have shown his pickled ear to Parliament, and it worked.
See wars on the globe
On the Panchronia globe you can pick a year and see who was fighting whom on every continent at once. In 1453 the Hundred Years' War ended and Constantinople fell; in 1618, when the Thirty Years' War began, the Romanovs had only just come to power in Moscow.
What was the shortest war in history?
The Anglo-Zanzibar War of 27 August 1896. It lasted between 38 and 45 minutes: the British fleet shelled the Sultan's palace and he fled.
How long did the shortest war last?
Between 38 and 45 minutes, depending on the count. The bombardment began at 9:02 a.m. and the palace flag came down at about 9:40.
What was the longest war in history?
Usually the Reconquista, about 770 years from 722 to 1492, and the Roman–Persian Wars, almost 700 years. Of wars with more continuous fighting, the best known is the Hundred Years' War, which lasted 116 years.
What is the most absurd war in history?
Strong contenders are the Emu War of 1932, when the Australian army failed to defeat emus with machine guns, and the Pig War of 1859, whose only casualty was a pig.